The DEA announced this week that the emoji, previously thought to entice sex only with peaches and eggplant, can now also be used to buy drugs. In a printable outline on your wall, they have posted a “Drug Emoji Symbol Guide.” This informs parents that their children’s use of emojis is very likely to be a secret screen language for buying drugs and communicating with drug dealers. For any kid who isn’t clear on how to do this, or which emoji to use, the DEA has also provided a list. This is a bit of audio playback:
There is some measure of goodwill here with the DEA. Many street-bought pills are currently full of fentanyl, which is a terrifying thing to consider. But no kid wants to take fentanyl (unless he explicitly instructs him to “with a teary-smiley face, of course).”
Instead of encouraging distrust and resentment from parents and children, the real push from the DEA should be to provide your children with no-questions-asked access to Fetanyl test strips — similar to giving your kids condoms, a simple test for them to see what they’re about to swallow will affect Likely on the mortality rate on bound grains. If you’re already spying on their messages for a text code (a code that can easily be changed, by the way), you might consider talking openly via Hallmark Channel spying.
The DEA has a history of this, and it’s always farcical in terms of effort and impact. 2018’s word-packed PDF thesaurus addicts will enjoy slang and codewords (that gave me the term ‘whiffle dust’, thanks for that) or for fans of visual aids, there’s a ’60s and ’70s chart filled with charts from drug users.”
This is all the DEA’s way of saying, “Welcome to 2022!” This new episode of Spoken Word with Electronics deals with the emoji problem.
SWWE #64: Dangerous Emoji & Punk Ant